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So why the abrupt MILF shift into rom-com territory?
Is there something in the breast milk?
Or just in the private-equity stock-prediction PowerPoints?
Is this something to do with Drew Barrymore calling Kamala Mamala?
Is Miranda Julyimplicated, too?
What about your mom?
What specific fantasy is being sold to us?
Whats fun about it, and what feels false?
Why do they nearly all sigh into a mirror while wearing a baggy clothing item?
What does the indie version of the MILF Movie do differently?
And (evergreen question) why is the French version so specifically fucking weird?
Who is the MILF?Solene, a 40-year-old divorcee who lives in Silver Lake and has thick bangs.
Is she white?Yes.
Is she meant to be read as a little prim and repressed?Sort of.
She does not want to go to Coachella.
But then again, she has very long hair.
Several characters refer to the gallery as an inclusive space, though its not clear what that means functionally.
When we meet her she is going camping alone to process the last 20 years of her life.
she asks Tracy, who looks unconvinced, within the first three minutes of the film.
She is visibly demoralized by this.
Who is her one child?Izzy, a 16-year-old with equally great hair.
Theyre best friends, basically equals; what could go wrong?
Is he also white?Yes.
He also reveals he has both daddy and trust issues.
He puts his face in her boobs before they kiss.
She adds, I could be your mother.
Does she actually say, I cant do this?She actually says, I cant do this.
Because youre you, and Im me, and we just dont fit.
Do they do it anyway?Of course.
Is it hot?Yes!
Anne and Nicholas Galitzine have genuine chemistry and its nice to see a woman getting fingered standing up.
and at one point she dances around a hotel room to a Wang Chung song.
Solene calls Hayes a fuckboy and promptly leaves the world tour.
(OnePeopleheadline: Mommy Issues.
Another, from TMZ: Her??
act like it!)
She actually asks, Is he a feminist?
Yes, sobs Solene.
So what, ultimately, is the idea of you?This is an interesting question.
Solene does not actually care about August Moon or the idea of Hayes.
Has it been awhile since shes gotten laid?Decades.
She has not shtupped a single man since her husband died.
No great tryst ever started by someone being rational, she says.
Will pause here for all journalists to take a deep breath.
Despite many traditional markers of success, is she deeply unfulfilled?I feel irrelevant.
Do you feel irrelevant?
she asks Kathy Bates in an early scene.
Who is her one child?Zara, a grating, self-involved 20-something played by Joey King.
), lends her momsVogueclothes to friends, and berates Brooke for having a life.
Nobody asks her if she has seenAdore??
They finally bond at minute five, when he reveals his brother is dead.
There seems to be more to him, Brooke later says to Zara.
Does the MILF do something maternal-coded for her love interest?She brings him chips.
She pours him tequila (cool mom).
She consults on his bad script.
She gives him allegorical advice about life … something about ships and islands.
Does she actually say Im too old for you?Not explicitly.
Is it hot?I say this with deep love for these two leads: no.
They had much hotter chemistry when Nicole peed on Zac inThe Paperboy.
When she stumbles upon him and her mother hooking up, she behaves like she has been shot.
A subsequent montage involves a lot of beach walking and sweaters.
She puts on a top hat.
I mean it this time, he adds.
I guess people (algorithms) can change.
Be a grown-up, and if you cant, fake it, she says.
Zara doesnt immediately get a grip and tries to sabotage the relationship again.
But eventually shedoesget a grip and everyone lives happily ever after (with Zara working at CAA).
Who is the MILF?Anne, a late-40s/early-50s mother of twins with a sharp blonde bob.
Is she rich?Why didnt Daddy take you riding?
Two homes, one of which is a chalet, rich.
Do men her age suck?Theyre boring and clueless, but she is the problem here, low-key.
Who is her one child?Shes adopted twin girls, and theyre adorable.
Does the MILF do something maternal-coded for her love interest?Yes, because she is his stepmom.
Does she actually say Im too old for you?This is hardly the biggest problem they face.
Do they do it (again) anyway?Yeah.
Annes sister freezes her out entirely when she finds out about Theo.
She is a vivid free spirit, not a Goop head.
She is not repressed; she is outspoken and in fact slightly unhinged.
Has it been awhile since shes gotten laid?Possibly not since her husbands death, though its unclear.
I always wanted to do it, she explains to a confused Ben.
Do men her age suck?Its more that the womenhisage suck.
Ben goes on several Jdates with women who cant hold a candle to Carlas strange, whimsical demeanor.
She doesnt speak up for herself when he treats her this way.
When we meet him, hes forgotten how to sing; this threatens his job security.
She helps him up and they quickly realize she used to be his teacher.
Hes less immediately impressed by her, which feels more realistic and less patronizing.
He is described as the saddest motherfucker in the local bar, where he chugs mudslides.
Even my name is in the past tense, he says to his rabbi.
Carla does find this all quite captivating, though not in an overtly sexual way at first.
You think I lost my brains!
(He actually says, I think you got old and lost your brains.)
Get your balls back.
However, Carlas bat mitzvah ultimately operates as a sort of sensual release for both parties.
Is it hot?Of course, its Carol Kane!
One of his moms accuses her of grooming him in school.
The other asks if hes happy.
His late wifes doppelganger/would-be love interest laugh-sobs.
He kicks Ben out of a family dinner and Carla allows it.
Im confused, she later says.
Carla rescues him and asks him to perform her bat mitzvah.
