The Valley
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This supersize episode really should have been chopped into two parts.
The first half focuses on Jaxs soft opening.
This wrapped up all the drama in the group.
The second half of the episode gives us codas into Jesse and Michelles and Brittany and Jaxs breakups.
What we get is realer and rawer, making me so excited for the shows second season.
(Yes,its been renewed, supposedly with the same cast.)
Zack comes over and says he wants to have a private chat with Janet.
They all tell him he can talk there.
Zack screams, I dont care what Croc of shit boots said.
I could literally give less of a shit.
He is referring to Janets gay Simon, who wore a pair of Croc boots to an event.
My heart goes out to all the background players stuck with gross associations.
Anyway, Janet, who says shes not dealing with any drama that night, says, Done!
and gets up and walks away.
She also calls Zack trash and says she wont hang out with him again.
Heres the thing about these two: They hate each other because they are exactly the same.
Theyre at their best when theyre in a confrontation and they think that the other person is wrong.
Whenever we meet people just like us, we become instant friends or bitter enemies.
This is also why all three of them are excellent practitioners of the reality television arts and sciences.
Jax goes to talk to Janet and is a bit heated.
Be careful with your tone right now.
Im pregnant, she says.
However, she signed up for a Bravo reality show when she was fifteen months pregnant.
What did she think they were going to do?
Sit around and build Barbie Dream Houses and talk about renewable energy?
Im a little sad that Janet seemed to successfully sideline her by not inviting her to Big Bear.
And while were on the topic of invitations, why did Jax only talk to Jason about his separation?
Where were Jesse and Danny?
Why wasnt Zack invited with the dudes?
She is doner than done.
Shes also sick of Jesses shit.
But all of the fucks in Michelles bank have been spent.
Shes now talking to him like he always talked to her.
At least, I assume.
I mean, this guy wears a non-ironic headband around the house.
The only difference is that Jax is also a malignant liar.
Brittany had stood by this man for so long; why would she leave now?
But Im so glad she did, and Im so glad its real.
Jax tells her that he booked an appointment for a therapist.
She asks him when, and he says it was the day before.
You made it yesterday, right before the cameras came up, Brittany says.
Then we find out that Jax never even went to the appointment because it was too far.
Do we think that there was even an appointment in the first place?
Of course there wasnt.
Brittany asks him what hes done to change and he has no answer.
I totally believe her.
He counters that he didnt; he just said that she was at home when they asked him.
Brittany, ever resourceful, pulls up the recording, and he said it.
Of course he said it.
This is a man who, as Brittany says, lies for attention.
He lies about everything; he lies about nothing.
Neither does he, because he wont go to therapy.
Jax says, I dont know what else I can do to show you Im trying here.
I dont know, Jax.
You could actually drive to the therapists office, even if its on a moon or Mercury.
You could find your own apartment and let Brittany and Cruz move back into their house.
But you wont do any of that.
Youll put on a show and say youre different, but youre not.
Weve seen it every season.
Jax 2.0 is Jax 2.never.
That is why, as fascinating as Jax is to watch, hes ultimately a boring character.
Its the same cycle repeatedly, like eating a PB&J daily for school lunch.
Even if you love it, eventually, you crave anything else.
He opens the door and runs after her, Brittany!
he shouts, holding his phone in his hand.
