The Real Housewives of New York City
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Im not going to sugarcoat it: This season ofRHONYis light on drama, theatrics, and pyrotechnics.
But after this episode, I dont really mind.
I dont know thats plenty of action for me on a Tuesday night.
(ParticularlythisTuesday night.)
The first thing that fascinates me is Racquel.
Well, its not even Racquel.
When she takes her hottie fiancee Mel to an art show, Racquel is wearing a puffer jacket.
Wait, I take it back.
It has sleeves, but Racquels arms are not in them.
So it has holes for the sleeves, but also sleeves?
And what is up with the neck?
Its like a wrap-around that is big enough to contain several heads.
Is this a jacket that is made for two, which is why it has both sleeves and holes?
Wait, is this a couples sleeping bag that Racquel fashioned into a puffer?
I am so confused, but also, I dont know, into it maybe?
I am also very into Mel.
If lesbians wanted to have sex with men, I swear I would be bisexual.
Mel might be the overlap in the Venn diagram.
Know who doesnt like lesbians?
That makes me so sad.
Imagine if her mom was invited and didnt come to the wedding?
I would be devastated, and I met these two less than two months ago.
That wasnt Racquels only time opening up.
For those who arent up on the contemporary art market, Mickalene Thomas is a big freakin deal.
Her record at auction is nearly $2 million fora work that features none other than our Racquel.
Their breakupwas featured in Page SixbeforeRacquel became a Housewife, so you know they were both legit.
Because of that, many in the art world snubbed both Mel and Racquel to show allegiance to Mickalene.
(Lesbian art-world drama?
Is thisThe L Word?)
But every time she opens her mouth to talk about her life I am sat.
I am equally sat for the conversation between Jessel and Pavit at a gorgeous-looking but also empty Chinese restaurant.
What time are they dining?
When they arrive there is not a soul in the whole establishment.
Even the line cooks are in the back alley having a pre-shift ciggy and are like, Oh shit!
Their dynamic is absolutely fascinating.
I get it; its a good persona.
I love a funny guy, but there are times when jokes arent appropriate.
Im with Jessel: These two should get therapy.
I thinkeverycouple should have therapy.
I think therapy is the perfect thing for these two.
(It sure was the perfect thing for my relationship.)
So do it, Pavit.
Make Jessel take you for a burrito after and just get it all arranged, will you?
It also introduces us to her business partner and former lover, Chris.
Um, did you guys see Chris?
What I love about Erin is that dunking on her is so easy.
Mezcal did not exist until Erin Mew Mew Lichy and thank the Catholic Jesus for her.
Thats what I love about Erin: She has the same unchecked delusion as most of our greatest Housewives.
It wouldnt be fun if she waspretendingshe discovered mezcal, but she really does believe it.
Oh, that delusion also spreads to her Cinco de Mayo party.
She says, I know its an American holiday, but shes still doing it!
Brynn says that they for sure do.
Erin says, Im a Karen.
Not much happens at the party, really.
I wish they would engage a little bit though.
When Ubah brings it up, Erin says, Its not that deep.
Then why even bring it up?
Why even tell her about it?
If its deep enough to bring up its deep enough to talk about.
Thats what I think Ubah is talking about with the pigeons.
But I dont entirely understand Ubahs world view when it comes to who is telling her what.
Ubah says she doesnt drink from a glass because shes not a basic bitch like Jessel.
Its just, I dont know, human?
Its not basic if you would literally die without doing it.
She says Jessel is basic for not telling her that her friends are talking about her behind her back.
Or is it just when it pertains to Ubah?
If you dont rat out the pigeon (rats and pigeons, how New York!)
then that makes you a pigeon too?
I dont get it, and honestly, I dont care.
