The Real Housewives of New Jersey
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This season just gets more and more impossible to both produce and watch.
How the hell are we going to get out of this mess?
The episode starts with Dolores, the only person who has emerged unscathed from this constant infighting.
Do you think she wants to be on the show?
Im not sure I text with my girl Anna every day and I routinely forget her birthday.
Maybe that makes me a bad friend, maybe we just dont always bring these things up.
I dont know, this sounds bullshitty to me.
Jackie says she doesnt want to get into it with Teresa and Jen, but shes glad they called.
Speaking of Jen, she and Melissa have an attrition lunch where they venture to get over their nonsense.
But can she give us one example of something equally shady that Melissa has done to her?
I cant think of any.
This is an equivalency so false that even silicone breast implants dont think it looks real.
Why couldnt she bring that up?
You got caught, at least own it.
Finally, its time for Danielles Bougie Brunch to celebrate Bougie Kidz being in New York Fashion Week.
Danielle says she just found out shes closing the show.
Wait, is she closing all of New York Fashion Week?
Is she the final show?
Its not Marc Jacobs, its Bougie Kidz?
Or is this some kind of all-kids fashion show and shes just one of 10 people in it?
(Man, season two was wild.)
Instead, they invite her to the party to spill the details and do nothing to defend their girl.
When Danielle finally hears the story she says, Of course I did that.
She shouldnt be in the VIP.
Teresa says, Are you fucking kidding me?
Ugh, reason 1,963,456 is this one.
Label this reason 1,963,457.
Rachel then asks Teresa what her intention was bringing up those rumors, but thats not even a question.
We know what her intention was.
Its how Teresa always rolls.
This is when things take a really interesting turn.
(Im telling you, season two!)
Melissa says, Come on, you know she went after your marriage and it hurt you.
Yes, we know too because wesaw it.
We saw how pissed Jackie was and how she didnt think he would ever recover.
Thats fine, but she cant rewrite history.
Teresa spread a malicious rumor about Jackie to upset her and it worked.
Its like Teresa sliced her with a knife.
Sure, the wound has healed by now, but Teresa still cut her.
She still did that.
It doesnt go away because Jackie now wants to be on Team Teresa.
But when she figures it out, shes going to come for Rachel.
