The Real Housewives of Miami
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There are some activities that Housewives should avoid because they never end well.
The classic example is vow renewals, which almost always segue into a quick divorce.
Getting on a boat usually spells disaster for our ladies, as does hiring a psychic.
But there is a new one to add to the list, and it is playing a game.
Okay, Ill remind you: Not well, bitch!
This game happens at the casts first dinner in Mexico City.
(Nicole is not there because she had to work.
This is why you bitches should not play a game.
It was a bad episode for Larsa, a crash test dummy someone put back together wrong.
Alexia said she feels like whenever Larsa invites her to something, its to sell one of her products.
Larsa says to her, I dont have a Todd.
Larsa and Alexia literally dump the room with their fight because everyone knows it will not end.
Neither will admit they were wrong; neither will apologize.
You will never win a fight with Alexia, Larsa says.
Youll just give yourself a migraine for no reason.
Has this woman met herself?
Kiki might be the only one with actual beef with Larsa.
She says, I dont have a Todd.
I dont have a Scotty.
All I have is this, and it doesnt come with money.
I had to pay for this!
Again, its defensive, combative, and puts the blame on Kiki rather than herself.
Larsa could have said, Youre right, Im sorry.
I just really wasnt feeling well that night or else I would have been there.
Ill be at the next one.
Instead, she tells Kiki she is always telling her to start her own products.
Giving your friends business ideas is not supporting them.
Anyone can do that.
Supporting them is showing up, which is more difficult.
Um, doesnt she make guys wait four months before banging them?
Gays dont even wait four minutes.
Call me when youre like, Doors open, ass up.
The same thing happens later when they go to their weird dinner at the art gallery that Alexia arranged.
Theyre greeted by a fleet of hot, shirtless guys with perfect abs and random tattoos wearing bunny masks.
Everyone is confused, including the audience, but Im enjoying it.
Kiki tries to hit on these guys, too, and the one she does is gay.
Poor Kiki needs to calibrate that gaydar stat.
Kiki, Im ready when you are.
But lets invite a couple of those bunnies just for good measure.
Um, this lady hascancer.
Shes trying to defend her remarks about Guerdy when theyre not defensible.
