Twenty-two hours into tropical paradise, the money nerds started getting emotional.
The crew was united by their commitment to the Financial Independence, Retire Early movement.
FIRE’s promise: Embark on a super-saving path toditch corporate drudgery ahead of scheduleand retire on your terms.
On the first day of theretreat, we sipped on coconut water and focused on introductions.
At 22, I was the youngest person in attendance by far.
On the second day, people started opening up about what brought them to the island.
This retreat came, like any financial product, with caveats and nondisclosures.
During small-group sessions, we were instructed not to interrupt or ask follow-up questions.
I agreed not to write details that might identify specific people.
Then the first member of our four-member group was up.
Shespent a minute looking down at her flip-flops.
The next man kept the emotional momentum going by talking about his loneliness.
The third member of our quartet confessed how his obligations to his parents sometimes felt like a burden.
I had rarely seen men cry, but here two did so one after the other.
I had never said that out loud.
After six months of writing about FIRE, I knewisolation to be one of the common downsidesof retiring early.
When all of your friends have a 9-to-5, nobody’s around for lunch on a Tuesday.
Minkley had grappled with money issues since her parents' divorce during her childhood.
She took on two jobs as a teenager to help her struggling mother.
“I felt like I met my tribe,” she said about attending her first event.
“There’s just something so valuable to be able to have conversations about money in real life.”
Escaping judgment
Many outsiders associate the FIRE movement with fun-eschewing cheapskates.
“There’s a lot of people that think that it doesn’t work.”
One American said she stopped talking about personal finance with her friends.
They told her that they thought the FIRE community was a cult and that she wasdepriving herself.
Back home in New York, a financial advisor had quoted her nearly $3,000 to do the same.
“This community is worth every penny,” she said after a loud, late-night game of spoons.
The early retirees recommended creating a bank account to spend solely on experiences with friends and family.
His “fun bucket” helped him ditch the frugality mindset.
They had prioritized building their business for the past several years.
They didn’t knowwho they were without work or where they would go if they decided to retire early.
We shared one thing we promised to do to improve our lives after getting home.
To keep on track, we were directed to find “accountability buddies.”
One woman promised to talk to her FIRE-wary partner about her desire to move abroad.
“It’s a cautionary tale,” the husband said.
On the eve of my 23rd birthday, I’m not gunning to retire by 30.
I’ll have my 30s and 40s to grow my career and net worth.
But I need to enjoy friends and family now, while everyone is still fit and healthy.
Now, I have no more excuses and my accountability buddy is waiting.
