Southern Charm
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Okay, this season is getting more overstuffed thanDolly Partons bra.
But also, who are all these new characters?
What is even going on anymore?
Is anyone on this show full-time other than the boys?
Also, theyve all slept with each other?
Into this whole mess walks Mollys friend Salley, who apparently trains people how to use surgical robots.
Its nice for Salley to be both sex-positive and Shep-negative.
Salley got me on her side pretty quickly, but she lost me just as fast.
She says, We dated for three months.
First of all, I will never forgiveThe Bachelorfor giving us the phrase my person.
c’mon stop with this.
Its so dumb and reductive, and there are so many people in everyones lifetimes.
Can we just axe this syrupy nonsense already?
My person aside, she also decided this afterthree months.
Are we sure its the same person?
Are we sure that the producers ofSouthern Charmarent beingParent Trap-ed?
And has Salley never learned of continuity?
Who else do we meet this episode?
Theres Sienna, Sheps new girlfriend who lives in the Bahamas but came up for a visit.
Oh, so you mean Shep wants to be a colonizer?
Just like his ancestors?
Is he going to go so far as to open a plantation?
Also, can we not with Taylor?
JT being excluded makes sense, but do Rodrigo and Tyler have beef with the other hot Charleston gays?
Is there some kind of gay drama that we dont know about?
And if there is gay drama, why dont we know about it?
There aint no drama like a gay boy drama because a gay boy drama dont stop.
Dude, that is the back!
Then he starts scribbling in his sad, millennial, TikyToky-addicted scrawl that doesnt make any sense.
My intent was meant… he writes before pausing, realizing that what hes writing makes absolutely no sense.
Yes, shes still spry and sprightly, but cartwheels?
Patricia says she doesnt want a friendship with him, but she will be cordial when she sees him.
Thats why he stands at the height he does today.
(Sorry, I have tall-man privilege.)
She didnt need to resort to talking about his looks when putting him in his place.
Whats at issue is him spreading crackpot theories before talking to her.
And she would have given him the very reasonable explanation that she gave to viewers.
Of course, Brett is more worried about her f-boi ex who shes on a trip with than JT.
I mean, duh.
