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Disney thinks its slick.
There is simply not enough to do.
As it stands, this is a half-day park.
Destroying a great all-ages attraction to build another coaster will do very little to solve these problems.
Okay, thanks for hearing me out.
The greatest moviegoing experience you’re able to have in America isnt in Imax.
Its not a lovingly restored film playing at a grand, historic movie palace.
Its Muppet*Vision 3D.
WhatisMuppet*Vision 3D?
Shenanigans and goof-ups ensue, likeThe Muppet Shows backstage high jinks, adapted to fit a new format.
Sounds cute.
But why is any of that historically significant?
Hes as worthy of a landmark as any of our great auteurs.
With the Muppets, Henson invented an entirely new genre born out of centuries-old traditions of puppetry.
Muppetry is a great American art form.
Wait, what?
His close friend and longtime collaborator Frank Oztold theGuardianin 2021, The Disney deal is probably what killed Jim.
It made him sick.
According to Oz, Eisner was trying to getSesame Street, too, which Jim wouldnt allow.
Thats so sad.
He was too pure for this cruel, capitalist world.
While were on the subject, nothing will ruin your day quite like watchingHensons memorial service.
Can a theme-park attraction evenbea Historical Place?
Its built into the terminology: Theyre sideshows, diversions, and pastimes.
Disney is a giant, powerful corporation.
Why would it evenneedthis kind of official government designation?
Ahahahhahahahha DONT YOU SEE?
DONT YOU GET IT?
Muppet*Vision 3D existing within Disney World is exactlywhywe need an outside authority to protect it!
The only way to ensure that this precious gem of a theatrical experience is protected is straight-up government intervention.
What happens when Disney decides that Muppet*Vision 3D is also too old and strange for iPad kids?
I kind of think we shouldnt give them the choice.
Since then, it has had a very spotty track record of knowing what to do with them.
How would this even work?
This is the tricky part.
The real challenge will be in convincing Disney that this would serve the company.
How can we convince Disney that this would be beneficial, even if it doesnt directly translate into profits?
Point out how this helps its legacy branding:Disney is a legacy media brand andlovesto play into that.
All for millions less than it would take to actually build a new attraction or overhaul an existing one.
Its just a movie, though.
If it ever closes, cant it be preserved on streaming?
Muppet*Vision 3D is a very rare cinematic piece because its a site-specific installation.
It plays with its environment almost like a live show.
Theres something creepy about them.
I think thats a huge part of the magic of them.
Im scared that the Muppets are currently in a hostage situation at Disney.
Maybe this is the bipartisan move Biden needs to bring the country together?
