The untold story of the chaotic made-for-TV Christmas movie Arnold Schwarzenegger directed in the 90s.
Save this article to read it later.
Find this story in your accountsSaved for Latersection.
The original 1945 film concerns a magazine cooking columnist named Elizabeth Lane, played by Barbara Stanwyck.
Her columns detail the elaborate meals she cooks for her family on their Connecticut farm.
She has no family, she has no farm, and she cant cook.
This material did not exactly call out for the Schwarzenegger treatment, but it got it in spades.
Here, for the first time, is their festive tale.
I.just Hold for Arnold Schwarzenegger
I.
In the early 1990s, TNT was producing original made-for-TV movies to build its audience.
So his friend, executive Scott Sassa, gave him a shot at making another.
Specifically, a remake from the MGM library, which TNT CEO Ted Turnerowned.
Thats when he got a phone call from a big Hollywood agent named Lou Pitt.
Like, Mike Ovitz, Ron Meyer, Lou Pitt these guys are never calling me.
So if theydocall me, itsnevergood!
Its like, you pissed off one of their clients.
So my assistant comes in and says, Lou Pitts on the phone for you.
My heart starts to jump, like,Oh my God, what have I done?
He gets on the phone and he says, Do you have a director for yourChristmas in Connecticutmovie?
I said, Well, almost, yeah, we have an offer out.
I go, Okay … Im waiting to hear the name.
He goes, Arnold Schwarzenegger.
And I burst out laughing.
Lou Pitt (Arnold Schwarzeneggers then-agent):Oh yeah, he was totally shocked.
He said, Is this a joke?
Is this a joke?
Brooks:Thats hilarious, Lou.
He goes, No, seriously.
I go, What?!
Arnold Schwarzeneggers not doing a Christmas movie for TNT!
Im thinking this, this isone of those Spy Magazine things.
So I go, are they recording this?
Is this Spy Magazine?
And Lou goes, No, no, Im serious.
He says, Well, heres why.
He wants to direct.
Now, Arnold did have a directing credit.
He had done an episode ofTales From the Crypt, which is 30 minutes.
Pitt:The directing thing was sort of, you know, kind of out of left field.
Brooks:They said, Well, okay, well put together a big feature.
And Arnold goes, No, no, no, no.
I want low risk.
If I do a terrible job, I dont want anyone to be upset.
I dont want to take on some big social issue.
I just want something very simple.
Brooks:So I told Lou Pitt, Okay, Ill call you if this other guy passes.
And I hang up the phone.
Of course my hearts jumping I go,Okay, calm down.
I call my friend, Scott Sassa, who runs TNT.
And Scott Sassa, who was the head of the online grid, said, Are you kidding?
This is marketing gold!
Arnold is going to direct this.
Scott Sassa (president of Turner Entertainment):Half the people cant even get our channel.
The other half cant find it!
You know, its like, Were on channel 36 at Riverside and channel 42 … Brooks:The condo phone rings.
I pick it up and I hear, Stan Brooks?
hey hold for Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Its like the Monday of July 4th weekend or whatever.
And now Im serious I can see my heart beating.
And he goes, Allo?
Are you the guy with this Christmas script?
Id love to direct it.
But I have to shoot in Los Angeles and I have to do it in these days.
And I have some notes on the script.
Can you be here in an hour?
I cannot be there in an hour.
Can you be here on Wednesday?
I can be there on Wednesday.
Brooks:This is so like a shot from beyond Pluto.
No part of this is reality.
These things dont happen.
It just doesnt happen!
II.The Schwarzeneggerization Begins
II.
Stan and Janet meet with Arnold Schwarzenegger to prepare the script for filming.
Arnold does indeed have notes.
Brooks:So now Im going to this meeting on Wednesday.
Youve got to walk past all the props and stuff.
And then hes at a big, huge desk with a big, giant chair.
And behind him is a bookshelf.
But with all of the Mr. Universe awards, not film stuff.
Its all his bodybuilding awards.
He showed me by putting up his bicep, and pointing, and he goes, Its that way.
I go, Was that just to show me your bicep?
He goes, I have to show you the guns whenever I can.
Okay, so this guy definitely has a sense of humor about himself.
We go through the script.
We have some notes.
He wanted more humor and a little more jeopardy.
Brownell:The original film is charming.
Arnold wanted more humor.
Janet Brownell, he didnt feel she could get there.
Brownell:The whole thing took this, like, 180-degree turn at that point.
Stan just did not want to lose him.
And he has his feet up on this white porcelain marble table.
Hes got a big cigar in his mouth and scripts all around him.
He doesnt say hello.
He doesnt introduce himself.
He doesnt do anything.
The first thing out of his mouth is: So what have you guys been doing sinceCommando?
Clearly not going to the gym.
So we sat and he said, Look, you read the script, what do you think?
Brownell:It just Schwarzeneggerized into this thing that was bigger than life.
Loeb:We didnt make any real big structural changes.
But we did a dialogue pass to find more of Arnolds vision in terms of being a director.
We were there to have a go at execute whatever it was that he was doing.
Now you have to understand that onCommando, he would do this all the time.
He would go, I have a great idea, listen.
We would go, Well, we like the buzzsaw part.
Can we just do the buzzsaw part?
But he wasnt yet a star.
Now hes Arnold, and hes the director, and its Stans movie.
So, like, our job is not to go, Uh, maybe thats not going to work.
Our job is to make it work.
The next day he would say, Okay, were doing really well.
Were really getting there.
Its really coming to where I want it to be.
So I gave it to Steven and this is what I want you to do.
Im like, is Steven the guy at the gym?
As he starts to talk more, you go,hes talking about Steven Spielberg.
Brownell:So thats where things kind of went off the rails for me personally.
Cause its like, okay, this is becoming a completely different thing.
Berman:It took some license with the original, but I thought it worked.
Pozmantier:Its not how its done now.
Whether youre famous or not as a director, that doesnt happen.
To let somebody go and change things as much as were changed.
III.The Infamous Hairwashing
III.
Shooting was set to begin on November 5, 1991.
But no, thats got to be one line.
Im crossing out lines because he just cannot deliver dialogue.
Oh yeah, let Arnold direct this!
For us, 3 million dollars was a lot of money.
Hes sitting in his directors chair, and he has this enormous notebook.
He had actually done his shot list for the entire movie already.
He was doing everything he could to be as prepared as possible.
We had star trailers for Tony and for Dyan, and then of course the director.
But Arnold says, I cant do that trailer.
Thats not big enough for me.
Brooks:Arnolds trailer was like a house on wheels.
It was literally like, youd look at it from the outside and youd say, Wow.
Its got all kinds of pop-outs and the roof went up and everything.
When you got inside, it was literally like you had just walked into the Greystone Mansion.
Wilberger:It was probably almost three times as wide as a normal trailer.
It was the length that became the issue.
She said, Nobodys supposed to have a bigger trailer than me.
Grossman:The infamous hairwashing.
Brooks:Ive told this story many times.
Ive never told it on the record.
So we need the tanks in her dressing room flushed.
The guy says to me, Do you know what thats going to cost?
I had no idea what he was talking about.
I said, I dont know what to say!
Brownell:That sounds like utter bullshit.
Brooks:She had to have her own hair person.
She was this woman with a French accent who was like a fancy hair person.
To answer your question about Dyan Cannons hair rituals.
I can assure you that I never use Evian water on her hair.
That rumor was more around another actress in those days.
Your drivers picking her up?
I want you with the giant bottle of Evian pouring it into the tank as shes entering her trailer.
I want her to see the bottle.
What do you want to do tomorrow?
(Representatives for Dyan Cannon did not respond to a request for an interview.)
IV.Is It in Focus, Forehead?
TheChristmas in Connecticutshoot was scheduled to last 20 days.
Pitt:Arnolds about delegating.
Walking onto a set and having to make a thousand decisions a day was not in his comfort zone.
How would you like this shirt?
He stopped the wardrobe mistress and said, Are you the best in Hollywood?
She said, Yes.
He said, Well, thats why you were hired, so you make the decision.
What do you like?
But it wasnt something that was going to happen down the line.
He wasnt going to become a director.
He wasnt going to be Clint Eastwood, for example.
Loeb:So, theres Arnolds voice just bellowing out.
So, youd have to do it again, because he just found it funny.
We put all this fake snow in and had the horses pull it on wheels.
But I noticed when the actors started walking through the snow, it looked very foamy.
Theres even one shot where it’s possible for you to see the wheels under the sleigh.
We were like, Okay, thats too much.
And then, it wasnt enough, and then the tree kept falling.
Loeb:Arnold thought that that was like comedy gold.
The kid should throw up in the tree.
Okay, the kids gonna throw up in the tree!
Berman:We should have only done, like, three takes of that.
I think it was about ten.
Lombardo:Its a little like opening a bologna factory for culture.
Its sort of like, Whats going on in there?!
Brooks:Nobody had any sense that,Oh my God.
Were makingIts a Wonderful Life.He did understand comedy, I will say that.
Loeb:While were making this little tiny movie, Arnold is in theaters withTerminator 2.
And its doing numbers that no one has ever seen before.
We were on set when it crossed$500 million.
Berman:He called everybody foreheads for some reason.
I realized as I re-watchedChristmas in Connecticutthatone of the cops says it in the movie, too.
Stan Brooks:Thats the pumping-iron term for somebody whos kind of a nitwit.
Cause I guess if you take too many steroids, you get a big forehead.
V.Arnolds Strike Zone
V.
Christmas in Connecticuts climactic scene is the Elizabeth Blane Christmas special.
Everything goes awry and she finally comes clean with her audience about not knowing how to cook.
David Arnott, who co-wroteThe Last Action Herofor Schwarzenegger soon thereafter, played the part.
There was a part for a TV producer in the script and there were basically no lines for him.
I think the only really scripted line was like WHAT?!?
But there were a lot of things like, Director reacts, director reacts.
We did the shot from behind my head with all the cameras.
That was one ten-minute take where I basically just saw everything and reacted to it.
And then the second take was my close-up.
Brooks:Almost all of what Arnott does isimprovisedand he was fantastic.
Arnott:Arnold was very smart to do the behind-my-head coverage first, right?
Because that gave me a full run at it in which the camera was not on me.
And that freed me up to not worry.
They have to be quiet.
But you almost can hear people trying not to laugh, if that makes any sense.
When he eventually went Cut!
the room just exploded.
And then they were like, Thats a wrap!
The last shot of the whole thing was just this really happy, glorious moment.
Brooks:Hes not Arnold Schwarzenegger by accident.
He storyboarded every single scene, which Ive never had a director do before or after.
He did get better and better at understanding the camera and lens and actors and all the stuff.
By the end, he was really on his game.
VI.Mitch Alboms Holiday Song
VI.
With filming wrapped,Christmas in Connecticutentered post-production.
They needed, among other things, a song to play during the credits.
Brooks:We had wanted a song to go out on where Kris and Dyan were dancing.
Charles Fox was our composer.
So weve got to find another song.
We had no money we had no budget whatsoever.
He never took a class with exams.
He only took classes where he had to write papers.
Just stream of consciousness.
He wanted to go into music.
Mitch Albom:I just went and wrote a little song.
My wife is a singer a fantastic singer.
I said, Honey, can you sing this song?
Because we dont have time to go find anybody else.
We made this tape.
Apparently they played it for Schwarzenegger.
He said, I like the one with the girl.
And thats howthe songwas chosen.
VII.The Washington Premiere
VII.
The film was complete.
Schwarzenegger and the crew prepared for it to air on TNT.
Brooks:First of all, TV movies dont have screenings.
And a press line.
When I tell you that theres never been a television movie before or since that had a press line.
Brownell:That was the screening where I ended up crying.
My agent was very fast to get me a drink at that point.
Brooks:Arnold goes, I think we want to screen it again.That was too much fun.
I go, Okay, Ill see if I can organize.
No, I want to screen it in Washington with my friend, Jack Valenti.
So now we all fly to Washington and we go to the MPAA theater.
It was a whos who of Washington.
Like, both sides of the aisle.
BecauseMaria Shriverinvited her friends and Arnold invited his friends.
Sassa:The Commerce Committee, the FCC, the FTC were really important in our lives from cable.
It was a great lobbying opportunity.
The film premiered on TNT on April 13, 1992.
It received mixed reviews but is beloved by some, namely Schwarzenegger.
He just does, Shriver reflected to theLos Angeles Times.
Hes a big one on dont think about it or talk about it do it.
Nevertheless,Christmas in Connecticutwould be Schwarzeneggers last outing as a director.
A decade later, in another implausible turn, he became the 38th governor of California.
Schwarzenegger and Brooks remained friends.
Later, he became its chairman.
(Gavin Newsom has since triedto doublethe size of the credits in California.)
Brooks responded, I didnt get in the business to make big famous movies.
I got in the business to make movies, and I get to make two or three a year.
Im happy with my life.
To which Schwarzenegger answered, Thats fantastic.
(Representatives for Schwarzenegger did not respond to a request for an interview.)
