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This piece was published last month in the middle ofRHOSLCs season as part of Vultures25 Days of Reality celebration.
Were republishing it today in honor of last nightsexplosive season finale.
(Oh yeah, and shesVultures No.
Waves have been made in the Great Salt Lake, and theyre big ones.
Monica hijacked the story with contempt in her heart and malice in her eyes.
Lets face it, she Saltburned them.
For the sin of letting a rando into the group, the hot people get their shit rocked.
In the films final reel, we learn Olivers ultimate target was the familys enormous, ancient country estate.
Only at the end doesSaltburnreveal hed been pulling the strings the whole time.
This is exactly what Monica brought toRHOSLCthis season.
Monica is introduced as a former assistant of Jen Shahs, so already shes framed as a subordinate.
This is a posture, however.
Monica and Oliver put on their just a lil guy act as their way in.
Access to the inner sanctumis no simple task.
Much of theSLCcast members have known one another for decades.
Heather Gay and Whitney Rose are cousins, and Whitney is even descended from Mormon royalty.
Angie K. and Heather have been frenemies since high school.
As Felix was Olivers entry point to Saltburn, Jen is Monicas into the group.
Similarly, Monica betrayed Jen, admitting she turned over information to the Secret Service in a bombshell confessional.
(Remember: And that is how I became a witness with the federal government.)
RHOSLCis similarly haunted by the specter of homosexuality.
Everyone is caught off guard.
Monica even uses this power against Meredith, who brought up the rumors about Angies husband in Palm Springs.
Do we know if these DMs came from Merediths finsta?
Or did Monica fake them, a la Oliver faking Farleighs plateware thievery?
Where do the deceptions end?
Which brings us to the civil court of it all.
And it put her right next to Andy for the reunion.
Was that her plan all along?
Did she orchestrate her own victory lap,metaphorical dick swangin to Murder on the Dancefloor?
Shes certainly not poisoning her crushes or taking anyone off their ventilator.
But it cannot be denied that shes playing the Housewives game at an expert level.
She may not have stolen anyones country estate, but give her time.
Its only her first season.
