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She does Jimbo, Rod Flanders, Janey Powell, and occasional bouts of Martin Prince.
But most importantly of all, Pamela Hayden voices Barts friend Milhouse Van Houten.
From there, he became everyones favorite schlemiel.
As he says himself in amiddle-years episode, Im not a nerd.
He is beat down by life.
And Hayden has always brought the pathetic into her performance of thatlittle wienerkid.
He cries with anguish, laughs with maniacal glee, and makes sprinkler sounds like nobodys business.
Here are the best Milhouse lines, ranked by how incredible Pamela Hayden was acting them.
16.Spring breeeeeak, yeah!
(season 7, episode 20, Bart on the Road)
16.
If theres one thing to know about Milhouse Van Houten, its that he has no chill.
He has such a vacuum of chill that it sucks up and negates the chill of others.
This is bad, but also secretly great.
Sure, its cringey to behold.
But when you need a hype man, Millie is there.
you might hear Milhouse lose faith in his own excitement about halfway through the word break.
15.Zombie moans (season 25, episode 18, Days of Future Future)
15.
TheresWhite House chief of staffMilhouse,roided-out teenMilhouse,Homers bossMilhouse, andjuvieMilhouse.
Especially Hayden and Cartwright, since they have to really butch up their performances to play grown men.
Then Milhouse gets bit by a zombie, and it makes things … better?
14.Bury me at makeout creek!
(season 11, episode 11, Faith Off)
14.
Ill be honest: The only reason this quote is on the list is theMitskialbum it inspired.
Stream Drunk Walk Home.
13.But my mom says Im cool (season 5, episode 18, Burns Heir)
13.
And whats his strongest piece of evidence?
his heart isnt really in the fight.
His mom says hes cool.
But what does he think about himself?
Never mind, you probably dont even care.
The simpsons batman show
12.Bart, remember when I was crying at recess?
I think Im finally ready to tell you why.
(season 14, episode 4, Large Marge)
12.
Okay, maybeobviousis too far.
you might 100 percent have different interpretations of this moment, but to me, its crystal clear.
Milhouse is queer and suffering, and Bart is not interested.
Theres adedicated sub-fandomthat believes Bart is/will be queer.
And Milhouse has always been the butt of gay jokes, almost as much as Martin.
It really puts his whole Lisa fixation in a new light when you think about it.
11.Take that, Dr. Sally Wexler!
(season 7, episode 9, Sideshow Bobs Last Gleaming)
11.
And now we have gotten to the root of Milhouses pain: his relationship with his shitty parents.
Its what you deserve.
10.Its so thick!
(season 5, episode 8, Boy-Scoutz n the Hood)
10.
As a proudSongs in the Key of Springfieldowner, this particular line reading is burned into my brain.
The best kind of bender!
I think part of what sticks in ones mind about Its so thick!
is the diphthong Hayden inserts into thee-ack.
Whered that syllable come from?
is something that bubbles to the surface of my brain on a daily basis.
When Im thickening a sauce with roux or agar, for example.
Or when its foggy out.
Or when I see a particularly delightful ass.
Its a cry of wonder at the beauty nature can produce.
9.Ta-ta, Im off to the beauty salon!
(season 8, episode 6, A Milhouse Divided)
9.
Its dramatic irony, folks, plain and simple.
For once, Millie is getting positive attention, for his campy performance of femininity (see entry No.
But little does he know, his whole world is about to be turned upside down.
Thats layers upon layers right there.
From the end of the Van Houten marriage to its new beginning.
Liz Taylor and Richard Burton.
Other people, presumably.
This news sends Milhouse into such a deep reverie that his parents call an ambulance.
Then he says this is the first time in a long time that hes daydreamed in color?
Even when hes happy, its sad.
7.Uhuhuhuhuh yeah (season 3, episode 23, Barts Friend Falls in Love)
7.
Milhouses first breakout episode solidifies a lot of stuff about his character.
He has romantic longing.
And Bart will always fuck him over to feel comfortable and maintain the status quo.
These patterns will repeat over and over again for 30-plus years.
But Samantha Stankey was one in a million.
And Hayden plays coupled-up Milhouse perfectly.
Hes still a big goober with a girlfriend; hes just found someone who likes that.
May we all be so lucky.
6.No, I think shes hot!
(season 9, episode 19, Simpson Tide)
6.
There goes Millies nascent sexuality again.
But also, Margeishot, and more people should be saying it.
5.But whyd I have the bowl, Bart?
Why did I have the bowl?
(season 8, episode 20, The Canine Mutiny)
5.
Its so hard, as the sidekick friend, to call out the main-character friend on their shit.
Just because its necessary doesnt mean itll go over well.
On the contrary, the more important the message, the more poorly it will be received.
Its a struggle to call out Santas Little Helper and Barts gaslighting, but it needs to be done.
This is a speech Milhouse has rehearsed, and it shows.
4.Everythings coming up Milhouse!
(season 10, episode 19, Mom and Pop Art)
4.
People may be shocked this is only at No.
4, but lets not forget: Happiness is not Milhouses natural state.
Joy, even for something as stupid as bone-dry pant cuffs, is not typical Milhouse.
His shoes and feet are still wet.
But we must steal joy wherever we find it, no matter how tenuous.
Thats a good lesson to learn fromthe Dud.
3.Sprinkler sounds (season 7, episode 25, Summer of 4 Ft. 2)
3.
This one is really a group effort between Hayden, director Mark Kirkland, and writer Dan Greaney.
And how did Hayden so accurately replicate those sprinkler systems?
Lastly, shout-out to the writers for finding joy in the mundane.
Or more specifically, finding joy in Milhouse finding joy in the mundane.
2.But we already did it.
It took seven hours, but we did it.
(season 7, episode 2, Radioactive Man)
2.
Until youve been there, you do not know the specific tedium of being on a film/TV set.
Its soooooo boring, but so many people are soooo stressed out about it.
As someone who doesnt even want to be in showbiz, Milhouses ennui is palpable.
1.But ImallMilhouse!
(season 8, episode 7, Lisas Date With Density)
1.
Really, its the whole scene that lands this line at the top of our list.
Milhouses sky-high expectations when Lisa says she has a crush immediately get dashed.
She says she wants to bring the Milhouse out in Nelson, which prompts the line.
But thats the problem, isnt it?
All Milhouse istoo muchMilhouse.
Then Lisa tries to be conciliatory and say hes like a big sister.
Milhouse objects, then calls himself that not 30 seconds later.
And the inner monologue about doing whatever she asks to gain her respect?
Its all too relatable.
Weve all been friend-zoned; weve all tried to dance around a friends inappropriate crush.
Its all too much.
