And then theCrying in H Martfilm fell apart.
But shes changing her fortune with a new album.
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Japanese Breakfasts new album is out now.
Michelle Zauner knew something was wrong.
But the success of both waswreaking havoc on her body.
I was just keeled over with stomach pain before every show, she says.
It was all stress and pressure and feeling like,I dont deserve this.
People are going to find out that I am an awful singer.
You couldntnotroot for her.
I recently met Zauner over lunch in New York, where shes back after spending the past year abroad.
Instead, she writes vignettes of muddy, moody characters who insist on playing with fire.
All of my ghosts are my home.
Looking back, its wild thatCrying in H MartandJubileecame out within two months of each other.
I was like,Two months is enough for them to be considered separate entities.
I dont know what I was thinking.
But they supported one another.
The book actually helped the record live a fuller life.
Writing a memoir about your mothers death is as intimate as it gets.
Did its success change your relationship with the public?
So I feel very left alone.
Chappell Roanlikenedit to the vibe of an abusive ex.
I can totally see why they feel that way.
I get wild asks from the press sometimes.
Thats not for sharing.
How dare you even ask for that.
But you also felt a sense of doom.
When we first went on tour after the pandemic, we were doing six days on for six weeks.
And it was crazy.
I mean, I said yes to every single interview.
I said yes to every single show because I never made money doing that before.
And then I started getting crazy stage fright and health problems.
Was there a specific inciting incident?It mightve been right when we were playing shows again.
You have to remember that this was right after the pandemic.
I think our first show back was in D.C. in front of 1,800 people.
I was freaked out.
That whole cycle was very scary for me; I had all of these skin and stomach issues.
And then I went to Korea and it all went away.
It was just stress and not sleeping enough.
I was honestly living on anxiety medication for the last three years so that sleep.
I was not eating very much; I lost a lot of weight.
And all I wanted to do was escape before I lost everything.
I just gotsoafraid that I was working towards something that I didnt really understand anymore.
And then I had friends die.
I had a lot of important family events that I was missing.
Its an incredibly privileged position, but there were parts of it that were really quite hard.
I think that was part of what made it really challenging.
It seems like touring is only getting more expensive, too.Its a huge risk.
The money that you put up front before you make anything is really scary.
I realized I could no longer even just have casual drinks every night to help me get loose.
Did it feel like you had to fake it onstage?I mean, you just feel awkward.
It is a key in of acting; youre acting out a confident version of yourself.
We cant wait for your next one.
And I was kind of curious to put that to the test.
But I was nervous.
How did it feel to be in the motherland?
It was the first time that I returned to Korea feeling like a successful woman.
I didnt have to date anyone.
I think a lot of Korean American people or Asian American people are rooting for them.
And its heartbreaking to me that they cant do that for us over there sometimes.
I didnt listen to any English music with English lyrics; I didnt watch any TV or movies.
I just wanted to be completely immersed in Korean content.
Even in the very beginning, I tried to only text my Korean friends in Korean.
I learned a lot about Korean cinema and watched K-dramas.
I was interested in learning about older Korean music; that was really fun for me.
Its a very self-absorbed thing, but I would love to get offline.
Do you search for yourself?All the time.
Im not going to.
You recordedFor Melancholy Brunettesbefore you left for Korea.
Its less of an obvious record and a slower burn.
I hope that people take their time with it.
But thats exactly the record that I want to make.
And Im just so excited to get to play guitar again.
I think these are some of the best lyrics that Ive written.
You have Jeff Bridges featuring on Men in Bars, which takes the album in an interesting country direction.
So Blake texted him, and Jeff video-called us out of the blue 30 minutes later.
He was just super-down.
Thats how that happened.
But Ive never met him.
Will you link up on tour at all, do you think?I hope so.
Id love to meet him.
I designed and ordered my own stationery specifically to write him a letter to say thank you.
So I asked my manager if I could make my own stationery.
When you publish a memoir, you have all the control as the narrator.
Sometimes its frustrating that that is out of my control.
So it was interesting to me that writingCrying in H Martwas the first time that people really understood.
I worry about them, but I hope that the ones who get itget it.
How does that compare with, say, writing theCrying in H Martscreenplay for the movie adaptation?
Now you have a bunch of strangers telling you what to change about real people.
But I was honestly very defensive and guarded because its an extremely difficult, personal story.
I come from two mediums where Ive been given so much freedom.
What kind of notes were you getting on the adapted screenplay?Mostly just where certain events should go.
I think he probably had a lot of other offers; hes also an actor.
I just needed some space away.
I mean, I was devastated when Will left.
But I think, if anything, perspective makes the best work.
I think someday I would like to direct it.
I was going to say: Youve directed a few of your music videos.But I dont feel ready.
But I think I need to learn how.
I dont want to learn how to direct onthatfeature.
You mentioned in a recent Korean interview that you want to be a mother this year.
Talk about complicated desire!
Or is that one actually more straightforward than all the others?No, its incredibly complicated.
Its something that I pushed and pushed and pushed down the road.
I mean, Im hesitant to talk about it.
Or it might change in a great way.
I mean, who knows why they decided not to have children.
So looking ahead to the tour: How are you doing it differently this time?
Were not doing six days on anymore, right?Now its four days.
I would like to have fun again.
It used to be so fun for me.
Its just all of the moments leading up to it.
You have to approach it with a certain professionalism.
Karen Chee actually has a joke about this about how most people are not really good at things naturally.
You want to be a rock star?
Chances are youarea fucking impostor!
What do you have to do to prove that you deserve to be there?
You put in the work.
Is that going to be a thing?
And she was like, Youre a Year of the Snake.
Youre not going to feel that way anymore.
Im just choosing to believe her wholeheartedly and see that to fruition.
