Mary and George
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Well, it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that were moving forward one year per episode.
Oh, look, theyre noting the year again!
This feelsMacbethian (a play written during James Is reign!).
James is all over the place this week.
Were all very concerned about him.
He begins by biting George on the wrist like a damn animal.
When George tends to it later, James kisses it and pronounces it all better.
Not really, James!
Do you know how much bacteria lives in the human mouth?
No, you do not, because, as we mentioned already, its 1617!
My friend was bitten by her cat, and her hand blew up like a balloon.
And according to anextremely cursory Google search, human bites are more dangerous than animal bites.
Everyone else watching this moved on from the bite moment in two seconds, but I remain concerned.
What will you do without antibiotics, George?
I guess since his historical cause of death is not king bite, we can continue.
This marriage between John and Frances is … complicated.
Because the show is namedMary & George, we generally root for both Mary and George.
Its very mentally jarring.
This would be very emotionally (and physically) taxing!
Its understandable when Sir Thomas says he misses being bored and alone.
James basically says he hates Scotland but that he has to go back because of duty.
I have to confess, that kind of line always sways me.
Its terrible, I know.
Yet here we are; this worked on me.
George sulks about this because of course he does.
Who is there to cheer him up but Sir Peter Carr, Somersets cousin?
I did trust him!
This is yet another reason I cannot be allowed at James Is court.
Peter is all, Oh, I hate Somerset, booooo, hes the worst.
Everyone in the 17th century is gay!
This is likethat musicalZanna, Dont, where everyone is gay and you have to come out as straight.
Imagine George hitting on a man and that mannotbeing into it.
I guess that could also be because Nicholas Galitzine is a very pretty man.
Anyway, so Kit doesnt trust how nice Peter is, and great job on that, Kit.
George and I continue to be like, Sometimes people are nice, Kit.
Well, no, they arent.
Not when you live in a world of INTRIGUE.
Before Peter reveals his malicious intentions, hes just part of the kings retinue.
James is keeping George at arms length, which makes George get even closer with Peter.
Could this man be linked to the weird burial at the beginning?
Meanwhile, Mary enlists Sandie to find Frances because Lady Hatton has squirreled her away.
Again, good for Lady Hatton.
Frances looks so much like Anne Hathaway.
Its all I can think of whenever I see her.
Shes shoved into a carriage with Mary and Sandie, who are canoodling in the corner.
Lesbians, am I right?
Francis Bacon and a line of behorsed men stop the carriage.
Sandie tells Mary that she went to Marys home and it was hell.
Mary tries to convince Sandie that everything will be okay and shell take care of it.
She also says that the wedding is still on?
Peter pulls him out of the river, giving us even more reason to trust him.
Okay, now we get to Peters devious treachery.
He takes George to Ruthven Castle (now Huntingtower Castle), seemingly to bang.
Nobles really hate a favorite.
During this storytelling, Peter is seemingly getting ready to sex George, sitting on top of him.
He calls George an English slut!
How will George get out of this one?
But then Kit appears and shoots Peter in the head.
Kit is made an earl!
James apologizes to George for shutting him out, and he tells George about his past with Lennox.
James and his entourage find a beautiful field and he calls his men to start digging.
George wants to do it, and when James asks why, George says, Duty.
George and James dig together.
This probably should not, in fact, be cute, but it is.
He wanted to tell his side of the Frances/John story before Mary.
Unfortunately for him, Mary is already in the kings tent and has been talking to him for hours.
Take that, Bacon, youve just been Villiersed!
As a result of all this, John and Frances get married.
Surely this cannot end well.
What does thatmean, Mary?!
What are your plans?
No, wait, dont tell us.
Im looking forward to being surprised and horrified.
