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I have such doubts!
The play also won the 2005 Pulitzer Prize for Drama.
In a gorgeous preface to the script, Shanley reflects on the era in which the play takes place.
We were all adults, and we were all children.
We had, like many animals, flocked together for warmth and safety.
As a result, we were terribly vulnerable to anyone who chose to hunt us.
When trust is the order of the day, predators are free to plunder.
And plunder they did.
I know you grew up Catholic in the Bronx.
But the kids saw it.
The reality of priests abusing kids was no surprise to you?Absolutely not.
Ill just speak for myself and the people that I saw around me.
I have two sons.
I said, You know, no one has ever tried to mug me.
What are you doing?
And he said, Dad, Im a teenager.
Thats who it happens to.
That age range, it brings out everything in everybody.
Because theyre going through the transition right then, all of their issues are visible.
Their sexual ambiguities, their vulnerability, their credulousness its just right there.
Youve said that you had long wanted to write about the nuns who had taught you in grade school.
And you dedicate the play to them.
He said, Whats it about?
I said, Thats all I got.
I went to a private school in New Hampshire for two years.
And the headmaster said, Ive never heard of your son; I dont know what youre talking about.
The priest was crazy.
My mother burst into tears, and the headmaster said, Look, put him on the plane.
Ill talk to him.
So I went up to New Hampshire, sat down with this guy at a diner.
He figured out my credits on a napkin.
While I was there, I was taken under the wing of the head of the English department.
And that guy was a predator.
Which I did not know.
We found this out much later.
All around me he was abusing students, but not me.
But hed end up on his feet in another school.
And I was like,Thats weird.
And the young man looked really sad.
That was the beginning of my understanding that this guy had been a predator.
Many, many years later, I got a letter from him.
As I suspected, the letter said he was going to die of cancer.
Ive never told anybody that story.
Back at the time of writingDoubt, I kind of buried it for myself.
I wanted to write about the time in my life before Id ever met that guy.
But that is definitely part of the deep background of the play.
Im sorry that happened.Im sorry for all of the ones that he picked.
Whenever you think someone else is the bad guy, look in the mirror.
Were all wild creatures trying to make believe were civilized.
It can be very difficult to face yourself.
That went on for like a decade.
I was like,How many things did I do?
Havent I gotten to the end?It was like,No.
Its interesting I find a similar dynamic in your plays.
Terms likevillainandherodont really seem to fit your characters; its always a both/and.
That ending … Its so unexpected to discover that she, too, is riddled with uncertainty.
Was that always where you saw the play headed?I didnt know it until I wrote it.
Im a silhouette described by the presence of them and the absence of me.
Sister James is a real person.
Shes very excited, and shes coming to see it.
I was so alarmed.
I thought she was dead.
It was suddenly like,Im going to be sued!
She came with another nun.
And Im looking through this magic window right into the past.
It was one of the strangest experiences of my life.
Its been 20 years since the show first premiered.
And that will make it a different experience.
Im interested to see what that experience is.
I find that such a hopeful idea.
Because the second thing is just egomaniacal.
You think you know how things should be?
Why do you say that?Look around at what weve done.
Lets hope to God theres not justice.
I want other people to share my point of view with me.
And my point of view is that weve all done stuff and carry that around.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
