Dying for Sexlets Jenny Slate stretch her wings.
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It was a huge opening for me, Slate says.
To be able to bust out of a cliche.
Youd just turned down a job when you read the script forDying for Sex.
Did Liz Meriwether and Kim Rosenstockcome to you with it?
Did you have an audition?I had to have a chemistry read.
It happened really quickly.
Or, I think the cheaper way to put that is, prove that.
I cant show you what this character is.
I have to do it.
I felt that way both times when I was trying to write my books.
This time, it was more about me as an actor.
And Id rather wait.
Which is a scary thing to say if youre paying a mortgage.
But my agents were like, Yes, that is exactly right.
Were really glad to hear you say it.
How did you know you were capable of something more without having done it?Its like an appetite.
I often refer to acting like that.
I cant survive without performing.
That would kill me.
And its a luxury to be able to receive what you have a deep hunger for.
Theres certainly no great weather reports coming in when youre about to turn 40.
For actors, especially female performers, it can be like,Well, youre going to get less.
I always feel like Im kind of scrounging around for material.
You mean for your whole career?Yeah.
That might just be me having experienced myself, since middle school, as an underdog.
I also had a lot of wins and I have a really nice life and I like myself.
But I think it is really hard to get the good roles.
Ive gotten a lot and Im grateful for it, but its really not all a perfect fit.
Its like, these things start to grow in me.
What do you remember about the chemistry read?It was December 18, 2023.
I had patched together child care for that day, because my husband was away.
The script was really explicit.
And I was planning on putting in my headphones and just mouthing the words.
And I couldnt do it because there was just the character saying fuck a million times.
These kids were literally in matching outfits.
A combo of L.L.Bean and J.Crew catalogue.
It just was like,I cant be swearing.Whispering swears is even weirder.
I was like, Cool.
Shes a live person.
She cares about this so much, which made me feel comfortable to care at that level.
Shes one of my favorite actors.
I was so nervous.
My character is sort of coming down on Molly for her inability to take risks.
And that involved like a zero-second understanding:Oh my God, shes so pissed at me right now.
Oh God, I dont know how to describe it.
Its like the thin place between being yourself and being in character.
Its almost like being in a dream.
Youre realizing youre safe, but youre not you, but somethings happening to you.
And then I had to get right back on the train and go home.
It was a while.
I tried not to think about it.
I just havent had that prolonged, positive work experience in a really long time.
What did you feel when they told you you got it?Oh man.
I cried so hard.
I was beside myself.
And I still do.
It was a huge opening for me.
Can I not start again, but just do the thing, rather than constantly saying what it is?
And you feel like this project did that for you?Yeah.
Because Michelle takes everything seriously in a way that I really identify with.
That makes it really easy to go for it.
And also the writing was so good.
I couldnt believe all the different things that were being brought in.
Theres a really good comedy.
Theres time for long, detailed descriptions of physiological human processes.
Its also evidence of Liz Meriwethers evolution.
I think youre just saying its what youve been known for.Right, exactly.
I felt a bit overwhelmed.
My family was moving.
It was my daughters first time going to preschool.
I was starting to do press for my stand-up special, which came out in February of 2024.
I was supposed to be finishing my book.
I was still kind of trying to finish it on set too, which is really hard.
Youd hope every single thing is the most important thing youve ever done.
I felt like my special was the most important thing I ever did.
So I guess thats how I feel in the moment.
I didnt text her.
I dont think we talked on the phone.
I was really nervous to do so, just because it was a huge honor and major undertaking.
I have played a real person before, a person based off of a person.
But Nikkis not that far away from when this happened.
It was six years ago.Yeah.
I just wanted to confirm she was okay with me.
And then we met in person and we were just kind of off running.
The first day was so nerve-wracking for me that I have very little memory of it.
I just remember being like,Be cool, man.
Youre not doing anything wrong.
Not that Ididwant to let Liz and Kim down or Shannon or anyone else.
But I also have a fair amount of faith in taking flying leaps.
I discovered, or finally confirmed, that there was a very inner, inner sanctum in me.
There is a language on those walls and its only mine.
And I know what it sounds like.
It sounds a lot like my comedy.
It sounds a lot likeMarcel, but it is more spellbound.
When you first started talking to Nikki, what kind of things were you asking her about?
Because Im not a person of emotional outbursts like that.
I asked her what her grief felt like.
I asked her a lot about what it felt like to be with Molly.
Why not?She offered to send me pictures of her and Molly.
She sent me some of them when Molly was healthy and when they first met.
At first I was like, Im too scared.
I didnt really feel that I should see them.
Every time I would look, I whispered in my mind, Thank you for letting me see.
When we wrapped the show, I found myself blurting, Thank you to Nikki.
Thank you, Molly.
Its not my job to do that, its the directors.
But none of us would be here if she wasnt willing to let us be.
Like what?I am a very careful person.
I am really careful with my body.
I dont like to be wet or cold.
Im not a messy person.
I would never have that bag.
I did at one point, but not now.
My purse is bad, but its not as bad as that.
But I would do it in a totally different way than what that character does.
I was asking Nikki specific questions about the doctor.
She was really, really angry at the doctor who ignored Mollys initial signs of cancer.
She sent him so many letters, being like, Do you know what you did?
Thats not something I would think to do.
I really needed to be like, Thats real.Even if thats not in the show.
That was hard for you to shoot?Yes.
It was really hard.
I could understand what I felt inside when I thought about Nikkis rage.
How do you make that real?
I didnt venture to be Nikki.
She seems to care about the spirit of the thing, because she and Molly are spirit partners.
That is what I concerned myself with.
Part of that also meant letting things happen to me when Michelle would be performing with me.
I think for both of us, were very, very sensitive.
Id be like, Is it okay if I were to kiss your hair or touch you?
And then youre holding each others boobs.Yeah.
Im very shy about my body.
When I was talking to Nikki last night, I was like, Molly and Nikki are in love.
Why arent they just dating?
And she was laughing so hard.
Shes like, Molly was so straight.Totally.
The thing is that theyre straight people.
Maybe Nikki, the character, would date her.
What was so interesting about this was a lot of us working had children the same age.
But I think everybody on that set needed to be able to be like, Bye.
See you tomorrow, I need to go.
I have to put my kid to bed.
You didnt have to become real best friends.No, but we got to become real friends.
Sometimes it certainly does happen, where people become really close.
I tend to become close with people I work with.
Michelle is just, like, a guru.
I really want to know what shes into, what shes thinking.
Shes very concerned with the world at large.
Shes a very fun dinner-preparer.
This haircut?Yes.
I changed my physical appearance a lot.
But I felt that it was complete.
I didnt feel like anything was left undone or unsaid.
I just felt lonely.
I knew that it would dissipate, but I wasnt used to feeling that way.
Michelle was walking down the street and she saw me and goes, Oh my God.
Because I had gotten my haircut.
She was like, It feels so weird right now.
And we just sat there in the restaurant.
We were looking at each other.
It was beautiful and weird to see each other on the outside and in our normal clothes.
Youve said youre feeling the best youve ever felt in your 40s and that you felt sexy playing Nikki.
Ive always felt pretty sexually inspired.
Sexually, these little peepers have been pried open for years!
She has not been slumbering.
My 20s were a nightmare in that sense.
Is female pleasure is my pleasure a priority and should it be?
I know it is for me.
Am I weird if it is?
I just love being in my 40s.
Its the best time.
I feel so glad Im not dead.
Did the show make you think about your own death?I never think about my own death.
I did start to become a hypochondriac during the show.
I went to every doctor I could go to.
I was convinced that there was something wrong with me.
I went through a very bad back injury.
What happened?I genuinely think carrying Nikkis big bag fractured me.
They tried to make the bag lighter, but after it was injured.
I started going to physical therapy and it got better.
That did come up for me.
Did that hypochondria last?Everything kind of went back to its normal level.
I have thought a lot about,This is my one chance.
I learned a lot from Molly.
And what is the work we need to do to get past it?
This job busted that open for me.
And she has to really get that out.
I think a lot of us have that idea about ourselves.
I have been slightly or strongly believing that theres something bad in me.
And now Iknowthat Im not bad.
Weve all made mistakes.
But the badness is not there.
I dont have to hide anything about myself.