Evil
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Evilfriends, what a bittersweet way to kick off a new season.
Not that they ever dont.
Its why we love this show, right?
Okay, never mind, this is the worst.
Isnt there a demon I can sell my soul to for a renewal or something?
(Just kidding.)
(Or not.)
Unsurprisingly, were starting the season with a bang.
But also I guess Im notnottalking about that?
The horniest knife work Ive ever seen!
As only Kristen Bouchard can, she laughs and laughs at the thought of Leland raising a child.
I giggle at the thought of you waking up at 3 a.m. because the Antichrist needs changing.
Oh, reader, I giggle too.
Oh, its so good to be back.
After Kristen saunters out of that baby shower (whats on the Antichrists registry?)
laughing like a goddamn boss, she gets down to business.
I still cant get a handle on what Sheryls endgame is here.
Does she have one?
Is she simply possessed and loving it?
She remains a mystery.
Shes not even entertaining the possibility of this stuff being real anymore.
She wants things to go back to normal.
She carries this new outlook to her work, too.
The gang is summoned to St. Josephs for their next assignment with Father Ignatius.
Be still my heart.
And so they meet.
Well, for us it is itsnotenough for new skeptic-on-steroids Kristen.
Mateos video could easily be a fake.
It is so good.
Why are they canceling this show, again?
Things get more muddled when the crew finally meets with the new Vatican rep, Father La Russo.
Admittedly, that is much freakier than the gates of hell.
Science is crazy, people.
This time, the trio splits up.
Once hes left alone, weird things start happening.
Maybe I take back the thing about the black holes being freakier its a tie.
(God, I missed the insane sentences doingEvilrecaps allows me to write.)
Especially one that may or may not be related to the gates of hell.
You know my girl Kristen is an immediate no when Ethan makes the offer.
Are all our demons this season going to be bug-esque?
I miss Bens freaky-deaky horny night ghost, but this development is interesting.
For some reason, he doesnt fill in his buddies on this post-ion-beam occurrence, and that is frustrating.
Instead, he confides in Sister Andrea.
Yeah, shes a real one, but so are Ben and Kristen.
Everyone needs all of the information!
Sounds like a prophecy about the end of the world.
And no, youre not wrong: Weve heard about something else happening in 38 days too.
It looks as though he might jump in, but the sinkhole isnt fully visible in the shot.
Is it weird that the latter actually seems more plausible?
Back at St. Josephs, they tell La Russo and Ignatius that their findings are inconclusive.
La Russo wonders if they can do so before the particle accelerator is officially opened … in 38 days.
Thankfully, David doesnt keep everything to himself any longer.
His friends clock his strange reaction to that number and, once theyre alone, ask him to spill.
Once again, Kristen cannot hold in her laughter.
Im having a son in 38 days, she tells them.
Things are about to get wild.
Actually, things are already wild.
While all of this particle-accelerator stuff is happening, something even stranger is going on right under Kristens nose.
Remember how Leland and Sheryl kidnapped Andy and kept him catatonic in his closet?
Andy is suddenly in a trance.
Leland repeats, Why is your wife fucking a priest?
I hope at some point their commands start to get crossed and it leads to chaos.
But, like, the fun kind.
I dont want Kristens boys fighting like this!
Do I have feelings for you?
But my husband needs to shut the fuck up!
She tells him to shape up or ship out.
In short, Lelands plan works spectacularly.
Sister Andrea may be the busiest nun in New York.
She has a revolving door of guests, including David and Lynn and, surprise, surprise, Kurt.
Sister Andreas frustrated Oh my God when he busts in is hilarious on so many levels.
I mean, we do know shes tight with the big guy.
I missed our girl!
Demon Kristen is back taunting David, and yes, she too drinks canned margs.
Still laughing about Bens homemade angel video in which he yells, I guess I was wrong about science!
I love Ben with all my stupid little heart.
Wait, theres more jokes.
