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Thats not the audiences fault its a response DeGeneres is actively encouraging.
(The specials title, after all, isFor Your Approval.)
These applause breaks quickly become overwhelming for the viewer.
How overwhelming, you might ask?
Hopefully this complete list of every time it happens, and for how long, is enough to illustrate.
It seems like you still care!
(4.0 seconds)
2.I stopped doing Botox and filler.
(10.0 seconds)
7.I have never used my parking brake.
I have never parked my car and thought,I want it more parked than this.
(7.4 seconds)
10.Ellen also does not know what Martinizing is.
(3.3 seconds)
11.Let me catch you up with what Ive been doing since you saw me last.
(9.0 seconds)
12.I got chickens.
(7.6 seconds)
15.Thats all for chickens.
Gotta save some for the memoir.
(7.9 seconds)
20.Because when you think good with kids, you immediately think childless lesbian stand-up comedian.
You had to work there.
You had to fill out a W-2.
(6.4 seconds)
25.Andy Lassner was one of my executive producers.
I dont think Ronald McDonalds the CEO of McDonalds.
(8.5 seconds)
29.Ellen plays air guitar.
(11.8 seconds)
30.Ellen acts out a man pretending to play golf while waiting in line.
(12.0 seconds)
33.Eventually theyre going to kick me out a third time for being old.
Mean, old, and gay, the triple crown.
(9.7 seconds)
35.For me, it was never about the money.
It was about healing my childhood wounds.
I thought,If I can make people happy, then theyll like me.
(11.0 seconds)
36.I dont understand people who dont wear sweatpants at home.
But as soon as you tell someone that all of their stories should be 50 percent shorter …
This gets a big laugh, but Ellen doesnt move on.
She instead just looks around quizzically.
(18.4 seconds)
40.Someone suggested Ellen get tested to see if she is on the spectrum.
She says she isnt but technically she is, because doesnt the entire spectrum include everyone?
(9.8 seconds)
41.On having OCD, Ellen says, Its funny.
I never thought of myself as obsessive.
I think of myself as careful.
And everyone else is careless and out of control.
(6.4 seconds)
42.Portia de Rossi told Ellen she obsesses over being on time.
This is the example she said I should share with you.
She says they helped place candles on tables.
Nine means nothing to me, because Im not going.
(9.9 seconds)
45.Ellen talks about how incredible it is that a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly.
She acts out the first drunk and confused flight of the new butterfly.
She stops the act-out and says, And they make it to Mexico that way.
I dont know how.
She continues the act-out.
They dont even fly anymore, she says.
Not even to get out of the way of a car.
She then begins a confusing act-out of pigeons moving out of the way.
(12.5 seconds)
47.Ellen found a lost dog, so she took it home.
The next day, she put up posters in search of its owner.
The owner called and asked where Ellen found the dog.
Ellen tells them where.
The owners respond, Thats where we live.
(13.2 seconds)
48.Ellen blames her talk show for giving her ADD.
(11.9 seconds)
49.Ellen cant read books without getting distracted by her own thoughts.
(10.6 seconds)
53.Im 66 years old.
(9.9 seconds)
54.Ellen doesnt feel old.
The only time she does is when shes at a restaurant and trying to read a menu.
(7.3 seconds)
55.Ellen shares her solution to the above problem: They have a childrens menu.
They should have a larger-print menu for older people.
Ellen responds, First of all, its none of your business.
(7.8 seconds)
57.Second of all, Im going to lie to you here: three!
(6.4 seconds)
58.Ellens bone-density test she didnt think she needed to take reveals she has full-on osteoporosis.
Im like a human sand castle, she jokes.
I can disintegrate in the shower.
For example, one time someone booked a magician.
He goes through the whole thing.
Is this your card?
Yes, it is!
(9.4 seconds)
62.Ellen says her mother still thinksThe Ellen DeGeneres Showis on the air.
Now, Ellen doesnt have a show, and her mom doesnt know shes Ellens mom.
But shes happy, and thats all that matters.
(11.3 seconds)
63.And Im happy too.
I have OCD and ADD.
Im sensitive and thoughtful.
But Im tough, and Im impatient and demanding.
Im a strong woman.
But not if it affects your mental health.
(9.8 seconds)
66.After a lifetime of caring, I just cant anymore.
(8.9 seconds)
67.After the show ends, Ellen comes back onstage to say thank you.
Overwhelmed by the audiences support of her, she keeps on saying Wow.
(6.5 seconds)
68.This was beautiful tonight.
Im so glad I got to say good-bye on my terms, and I cant thank you enough.
