Deal or No Deal Island
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This guy who could never suppress an eye roll was supposed to be the Golden God ofSurvivor?
For weeks, I didnt see it.
But after the history-making performance we just witnessed, I think we can all agree hes gone platinum.
(Speaking of which, can we get a reunion for this season, yo?
But even if I hadnt already come around on David, this finale would have sold me.
18 as his own.
Chrissy made a predictably miserly offer of $230,000, and obviously David did not take it.
The insult added to that injury?
With several million still on the board, this was an obviousNOOOOPE!
He hadnt come this far just to back down now.
Then came the vibe shift in round four.
With the left side of the board nearly decimated, Davids case picking started to get dicier.
The offer shot up to $1,523,000.
It also didnt hurt that David won $500,000 onAustralian Survivorbefore.
If he somehow tanked this, it wouldnt be like he hadnomoney.
(Although how long does $500,000 last when you have four kids?
Im not sure what, exactly, I expected, but round five began to make me feel gaslit.
Hes say it with me theGolden God!
Hes not going to walk away without a legendary sum.
At this point, his castmates were looking at him like hed grown a second head.
Even Parvati, who wore a silver dress to match her nerves of steel, seemed utterly stunned.
They all held hands as he chose his next case, which was once again miraculously low $750.
Im telling you, this man needs to bestudied.)
Chrissy dropped to her knees when she made her next offer.
She held Davids hands.
She begged him to take it.
How did they come up with that number?
I have no clue.
Why the $18?
Maybe she figured it might make David, the worlds biggest No.
18 fan, more inclined to take it.
This time, you could tell he was really thinking about it.
How could he not?
But once again, he flouted all conservative logic and threw his fate into the hands of theDONDIgods.
This was no longer about winning or losing.
This was about making history and utterly fantastic television.
InDeal or No Dealterms, this was a no-net basket.
This was a buzzer-beating goal at the World Cup.
I dont know sports, but insert another metaphor here.
There were chants of DAVID!
And Chrissy was still on the floor when she made her next offer, $5.8 million.
This was the big moment.
Once again, David had to meditate on his options, but the stakes had never been higher.
Whats a reality-TV god to do?
(At least according to Joe Manganiello.)
Given this knowledge, Chrissy had to wonder, Am I fired?
Im literally the worst banker of all time.
But what did we all learn from this gorgeous, grueling island getaway?
Ive got three ideas.
First, never accept less than youre worth.
And finally, never bet against family.
