Below Deck
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This Barbie is vile.
Or, at least, her attitude is, Fraser complains to Captain Kerry.
Barbie, meanwhile, just cant understand whats keeping Fraser from telling her shes doing a good job.
Thats all she wants!
Why cant he be a little more like her dad, who applauds [her] 24/7?
Fortunately for Babrie, there are other crew members whose company she prefers to that of her boss.
Ben is in a state of genuine disbelief when Barbie tells him shes got her eye on Jared.
(Shes attracted to peoples souls, she explains, which is why all her exes looked pretty bad.
An incredible burn, and all the more so because I can tell she means it.)
As always, I admire the immediacy with which gossip spreads on a yacht.
Kyle, upon hearing that he isnt polling in first, is undeterred.
They have a connection.
Sunny, still pissed, finally confronts Ben about his snitching on her via walkie.
the crew sets up a lovely table, seemingly teetering directly over the edge of a cliff.
(A metaphor?)
saves her from falling out of a chair.
Ha, HA, ha, HA, Jared cackles over and over again.
He is the only person Ive ever heard laugh in iambic pentameter.
In case all of that was too subtle, Barbie tells him, I like you.
A song that exists only in his own mind?
Im not sure what we did to deserve Jared.
Boom, boom, focus.
Anthony shares that he got married relatively young, at 26.
Hold my earrings, c’mon.
For the moment, he says, Im literally in love with my cat.
I dont know what we did to deserve Anthony, either.
Cat is on service, which goes exactly as well as one would expect.
Look, I have to say it.
The serving plate has not been wiped totally clean of smears.
That said, I love you, Anthony.
Dont listen to me.
The docking sequence is edited like a thriller, scored with objectively frightening Hans Zimmer orchestralInceptionbooms.
Inside, Im screamingfuck, Jared recalls in a confessional.
But not likefuck likefack, with anA.
Fortunately, he and the gang do a pretty good facking job.
(By what telecommunications witchcraft is Captain Kerry constantly successfully video chatting with his fiancee?
Let this poor man borrow your phone!)
Poor Jared couldnt catch this particular fly.
She calls him a dick, but he disagrees: Im cheeky, Im Aussie, its charismatic.
I am genuinely so tickled by someone justannouncingthat they are charismatic.
But in the aftermath of his comforting Cat, he encourages Barbie to be gentle with her.
This sets off their argument cycle yet again, although at least theyre drunkenly holding hands this time.
He, too, can be sassy, she informs him, to his dismay.
Instead, he takes a different tack: Fucking bring it or go home.
