Abbott Elementary

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Melissa recognizes them first from a fight at an Eagles game Go Eagles!

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and later from the skeeviest bar shes ever gone to.

She calls them lowlifes, forcing them to reveal their criminal status.

They help him read a childrens book about birds, showing him how to sound out each word slowly.

A disgusted Mr. Johnson suggests they get a huge cage to capture the creature.

Meanwhile, Dee and Janine instantly hit it off as Penn alumnae.

Dee is entranced and makes it her mission to hook up with Greg.

Ava passionately disagrees as Mac has turned out to be the best help she couldve asked for.

Gregory hears the commotion and tries to keep the Philly girls from pouncing.

Finally, Charlie displays his new skills while blundering through a read-aloud session in the library.

Community service is great!

Crime is worth it, plain and simple.

Barbara, who does the best alliteration: kindly remove these improper people from the premises posthaste.