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Oh,MAS*His on.
Oh,Mary Tyler Mooreis on.All in the Familyis on.
You just expected,Therell be some funny stuff we can watch on TV tonight.
So much of his material wouldnt fly in todays Woke Climate.
To illustrate this, here are 18 of Seinfelds most dangerous jokes from throughout his years as a comedian.
Content warning: These jokes speak the sort of truth the mainstream media does not want you to hear.
Grape Nuts: Ive bought Grape Nuts.
Ive tried Grape Nuts.
I initiate the box, put it in the bowl, no grapes, no nuts.
Can you call things anything you want now?
Sell a quart of milk, just print shoes on the side of it?
People pour it on their socks: Hey!
When you buy socks, they always come on a tiny hanger.
Does anybody have a tiny sock closet to hang them up?
When you go to see the doctor, they dont just let you see the doctor.
You must first wait in the waiting room.
Theres no chance of not waiting.
Thats the name of the room!
How does that always work out?
The original idea of coffee was a ten-minute break in the middle of eight hours of work.
Were now drinking eight hours of coffee doing ten minutes of work!
This is the most frightening moment in the life of a human being.
What the hell is dry-cleaning fluid?
Theres no dry fluids.
Do they put those boxes in there when the building is built?
Its a lot of work for the flush-fit appearance.
How come talk-show hosts never have any idea how much time they have?
Theyre always looking off-camera: Do we have time for this?
How are we doing on time?
Are we out of time?
Its your own show!
Its my favorite physical object.
I dont know why I think this.
My only theory is when youre driving, youre outside and youre inside.
Youre moving and youre completely still all at the same time!
I hate the selecting, the trying on, the conversing with the sales help.
Theres another oxymoron:sales help.
When I finish with my cereal, I put the bowl away with the spoon in it.
Why go to a separate drawer to get a spoon every morning?
Thats not good either.
Now its a race against the clock with the expiration date.
Now youre eating giant punch bowls of cereal, three meals a day.
Youre washing your face with milk.
Bringing cats in from all over the neighborhood.
My friend just had a baby.
Lot of pressure to see this baby.
You havegotto see the baby.
When are you coming over to see the baby?
Nobody ever wants you to come over and see their grandfather!
You ever see that little bottle by the cash register?
Five hours is a weird amount of time.
Whos working one to six?
Why does coffee always come from these made-up places like Arabica?
Near Jamoca Almond Fudge?
Have you noticed that women write out a lot more checks than men?
The checkbook is the one thing in their purse they can find immediately.
Most difficult thing for women to find in their purse?
Do the stores at the airport have any idea what the prices are every place else in the world?
You want a tuna sandwich?
If you dont like it, go back to your own country.
